“When our desire for love becomes a need or a demand, we have become controlled by others. A better path is to seek to love others more. Always strive to have an imbalance in your heart where the desire to love out-distances the desire to be loved: “This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:11, 16).” Edward T. Welch, Running Scared: fear, worry, and the God of rest

In a culture where the desire to be loved and to have love is so overwelming that our very sense of self gets pushed over the edge into despair, Welch’s reflection above is a timely one. Not all imbalance’s are bad, how many of us could use the imbalance he suggests: having “the desire to love out-distanceing the desire to be loved.” Perhaps the problem for so many people who haven’t ‘found’ love is that they’re not pursuing the desire to love, but only to be loved. The relational comodity for some may be simply that, I want love, here’s my merit card and my bank statement that says I can afford it – give it to me.

At which point the bank teller says, “sorry sir or mam, this account requires a deposit to love before a withdrawl of being loved can be recieved.” The better pah is to pursue loving others, to be caught up in sacrificial living so much so that when the opportunity, blessing, and responsability to be loved by someone else arises our lives have been so patterned and matured by loving that fidelity, and integrity, and service will mark our relationship.

Sounds like a better path to me…

(Photographic art by YellowRubberDuck)